July 1, 2008
Do you ever feel like you just can't do anything right? Like no matter what decision you make it'll be the wrong one. There are pros and cons to both sides but you have to decide if the pros will be enough for the cons. Will it be worth it?...How do we know? And once we know, where do we get the courage to go after what we want? Our hopes and our dreams are only an arms length away. But how do we get the courage to reach out and touch it? When are we going to be brave enough to wrap our fingers around it and never let go. I thought I was close, but I wasn't. Someday I'll figure it out. And when I do, I'll hold on tight and never let go.
I wrote that 2 and half years ago in a notebook I kept. I think that was pretty wise for my not even 16 year old self. I have changed a lot since I wrote this, but some things remain the same. I still question the decisions I make. I still wonder if I am brave enough to go after what I really want. I am still trying to figure it out. I still want to find it, whatever it is, hold on tight and never let go.
The 'it' I am referring to is love. How do you know what love is real? And where do you find it in the first place? I am searching for it, praying that God will help me find it (sooner rather than later).
Recently, I have thought of this great love I will never let go of, as my future home. It is my Solla Sollew. I have a picture in my mind of how I think it should be. Everybody else has thrown in their 2 cents on how they think it should be, but I am sure it is going to be a surprise. That seems to be the way God likes to do things in my life. I know that when it happens though, I'll know. And when I know, I will never let go. I will stay in my Solla Sollew forever.
I've had so much trouble finding my way there. When I get close, it disappears. If I can get there I'm going to stay there. If it takes me miles. If it takes me years...Sooner or later I'll find it. Sooner or later I will be home, in Solla Sollew. With you.
Song of the Moment: Sollaw Sollew by the Cast of Seussical the Musical. (I'll be home with you) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U4MUG-twtU
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
1 comment:
You should go and give Dr. Seuss's "I Had Trouble in Getting to Solla Sollew" a read. In this book Solla Sollew is a place the main character has created as a means of escaping his problems, only to realize that the place does not exist and that the only way to solve his problems is to face them instead of running away and ignoring them. Day dreaming can be fun but at the end of the day sometimes it does more harm than good because it can disconnect us from reality. And in the end, just like in the book, you'll have trouble getting to that place your dreaming of because doesn't exist and that will only lead to heartache and disappointment.
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