The Way Worry Changes You

Yesterday I was going to write a blog about worrying but never got the time to do it. I was going to say how i listened to the whole sermon yesterday no zoning out or anything. Because i was really intrigued. How I realised i should stop worrying about everything going on and just live. How I wasn't going to worry about the next month or what's going to happen next year or anything. I was done with worrying. And I was happy about it.

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But things have changed since yesterday. Yes, I'm still not worrying. But that's because I don't care anymore. Let's just say right now I'm in a situation. Somebody doesn't believe a word that is coming out of my mouth. And that's not my problem. That's the other persons. And what this person really doesn't realise is I'm starting to get annoyed.

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Why? Why am I mad? Because I am continuosly told I'm lying...and I'm not. Because this person is taking things just a little bit to far. Because this person is blaming things on me that I did not do.

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So I'm not going to worry about it anymore. I used to care about what I did so this person didn't take it too far. But I don't care anymore. And i used to care what she thought about the stuff that I do in my life. But I don't anymore.

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And now I'm going to qoute the oh-so wise words of Relient K before I go any farther:

No, I don't hate you

don't want to fight you

know I'll always love you

but right now I just don't like you.

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I tried to move you, but you just wouldn't budge

I tried to hold your hand but you'd rather hold your grudge

I think you know what I'm getting at

you said goodbye and I just don't want you regretting that

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So, while i'm slightly mad now. I don't hate you. And I'll get over it. But first you have to get over yourself. Open your eyes and your ears. And listen. Just listen to what I'm trying to say. Stop only hearing what it is you want to know. STOP WORRYING. I'm not lying to you. I'm telling you the truth. And I will continue to.

Just trust me on this ok. You're ruining yourself with all this worry. You've wasted months of your time worrying. And if you had just listened to what I had say you wouldn't have.

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Ok....so I'm mad but I'm not mad. And I do love you....that's why things have happened the way they have....but you don't know what's actually happened because you won't listen.

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So If you would like to continue to think what you're thinking go right ahead. Because I'm not worrying about it anymore. If you want to know what's really going on...just listen to what I'm saying and not what you're thinking.

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So. Point of this whole blog.

1. Stop worrying about everything

2. Always listen to what others have to say and don't just guess

3. Relient K is the wisest band in the whole entire world

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Song of the Moment: Which To Bury; Us Or The Hatchet? by Relient K. 'Nough said

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Don't let others look down on you because you are young

1 Timothy 4:12

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Music is what feelings sound like

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World Spins Madly On

So here I am....sitting happy as could be...And it hits me...I only have 26 days left of school. 26 days. That's it. And then i go on mission trip and i come home and it's all over. The year will be over. And it makes me sad.

Why does it make me sad? Because this year was a good year. And yes...some stuff has gone down. And yes...i'd say that this year has been very emotionally exhausting but I think that it's been worth it. It's been worth all the stress and the worry and the crap that I've put up with. It's been worth it all. Because the good times this year....have been great. I think without all the crap the good times wouldn't have been as good. They would have just been mediocre.

But it also makes me start to think about next year. What's it going to be like next year. I have friends that are graduating...I finally get the school all to myself. The Moffett name is mine and mine alone. I don't have anyone to share it with anymore. It's mine. It's going to be weird. Once you're past about the first 2 monts of school you have your comfort zone. Everyone is comfortable...and then comes the summer and messes everything up and you have to remake it all over again.

I also don't think I'm going to make it through next year knowing that after it will come gr. 12. And i don't think I'm ready for that. I don't want to figure out what I want to do in life. I don't want to worry about where I'm going to go to school. I don't want to have to worry about scholarships, and loans, and applying for university. I don't want to. I would love it if time could stand still right now in these very moments. These moments when I'm happy. I am happy right now...and I would like it to stick just a little bit more.

So, while the world rushes forwards. I would love to just stand here and watch it go. And maybe keep my friends with me and our good times. I don't want to have to grow up. This year I already grew...and I would like to be done growing because i don't like the growing pains. The ones are bound to get worse.

So, while all you go forward. I'll be here. In the now. In the happy. And I'll watch all of you continue to grow. And I wish i could just watch...and not have to feel all those pains that come with the growing. I'm done with those. I would love to be done with all of this. But that's not possible. I guess I'll have to live like everybody else.

One step at a time.

Song of the Day: World Spins Madly On by The Weepies...The whole world is moving...and I'm standing still.

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young.

1 Timothy 4 :12

Music is what feelings sound like...♥