Apparantly people change. Apparantly people who were once really good friends can't even be friendly to eachother. Apparantly I've been a jerk in the past. But that's only what I have recently learned.
In the last 2 days I have been contacting an old friend on facebook. I've been trying to add this person for at least 2 weeks now...and haven't been accepted.
Today i got an e-mail saying why not. Apparantly I was a bully. Apparantly I treated her like "s***". Apparantly I wasn't a very good friend. And I would defend myself. But maybe she's right. Maybe I did all the things she said i did without my realising it.
When she told me this I apoligized wholy and sincerely. Which was again rejected. Because apparantly if I was really sorry I wouldn't have done it in the first place.
But to that I do have something to say. Would any of us ever do anything bad if we knew we were doing it? Would anyone do anything they knew they'd regret? Would anyone do something knowing that in 3 years they were going to feel terrible for doing it? I don't think so.
In life stuff like this happens. People make mistakes. And obviously i made a mistake 3 years ago. But I don't think apologizing for it now is a mistake. Maybe in 3 years she'll be the one going "I wish I hadn't done that"...or maybe she won't be. I can't put words or thoughts or ideas in her head. She is her own person and I respect that.
So, for the last time I'm going to apoligize to her. She'll never here another one after this one. You know who you are. I'm sorry. I'm not the person i once was and you obviously aren't either. So, I'm done now.
But you should know. I'm happy too. I've never been happier. I've had a lot of crap since you've left. My life hasn't been a perfect and full of sunshine. It's been hard. And it's made me who I am today. And I'm glad you're the same.
Good bye.
Song of the moment: Shadows and Regrets-Yellowcard
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young.
1 Timothy 4:12
