Today was a great day: I finished my last exam, You've Got Mail was on TV when I came home from school, and I ate Kings Buffet for dinner...for Free!! Sounds like a pretty good day right? Well, those parts were, but my hearts still feels heavy. Heavy with sin.
Today as I sat at a table in school I watched something happen that I should not have watched. I wasn't participating, which I thought was good enough, but it wasn't. It was not good enough.
I came to my senses after about 1.5 hours. 1.5 hours too long. Someone else in my class came up to our table saw what was going on and walked away. About 5 minutes after that he came back, looked me in the eye and said "You know better than this. You shouldn't be sitting at this table. You should be running from evil."
It hit me like a freight train. Shame washed over me as I realized what I had been doing. I wasn't participating, but I wasn't saying why. I could have gotten up, made a bit of a scene to show people I thought, no, knew, it was wrong. I could have done something. And yet I did nothing. I did nothing. I just sat their in my shame and in my sin.
I may have come a long way so far in this journey I have been venturing the past 2 years, but I still have a lot farther to go. That is what I realized today. I pray that God will forgive me for what I did this afternoon and that next time, if it ever happens again, that He will give me strength to get up and walk away without caring what the others think. I pray that God would grant me strength in this world full of sin. I pray that next time, I will do more.
Song of the Moment: The Motions by Matthew West
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
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