"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."
Jeremiah 29:11
Something has come up in my life, a choice, and I don't know what to choose. If God has placed this into my life, it will have good outcomes. Right? I can see the chance of prospering, hope and a future but I can also see impending harm. I just need to decipher if this is something God wants me to do or if this is something God just wants me to pass by. Not a chapter in my book, but a page. The problem is: I can't figure it out.
"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed. The Lord works out everything for his own ends - even the wicked for a day of disaster...In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."
Proverbs 16: 3-4, 9
A part of me wants to give up. Stop thinking so much about it. Stop making my brain hurt. Just stop everything and live my life and hope that God will push me in the right direction. I want to take every burden out of my head put them in God's hands, along with my heart, and have him put them down exactly where they should go. He knows where they belong much better than I do.
"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails."
Proverbs 19:21
As of this moment, I think I know where my heart is in all of this. Right now I can imagine the outcome of everything, but I wonder, does that mean I am completely wrong? I have had my heart set on so many things in the past and then have God come and change it all. I am basically sitting here waiting for God to change my heart, which is causing all the brain pain. Either my heart is already in the right place or it isn't and I just cannot figure it out.
So, today I am going to say a little prayer. I pray that God will point my heart and my legs and my arms and my mouth and my everything in the right direction. I pray that through this no one gets hurt. I pray that His plans will become clear to me. And I pray that in the end, I will have done everything according to His will. Amen.
Song of the Moment: Awakening by Chris Tomlin (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ljr6lqu2-ec)
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Sunday, January 2, 2011
A Long-Winded Toast
A lot can change in a year. Even more can change in 2. It's a new year. Another New Year's Eve has passed. This year I spent it with my oldest brother, playing numerous games and beating him at few. Last year when midnight struck, tears sprung out of my eyes because I missed something that I was so happy to have. In the years time since then, I have lost what those tears were for, but I shed no tears today.
This was quite the year. Big decisions. New Friends. New School. Bravery. Love. Loss. Growth. It had it's high points and it's low points, but I wouldn't change any part of it. I have grown so much more in this year than in any other year of my life.
The other day I was thinking of resolutions I would make for this new year. One of the ideas I had was to go on a date. In the last 24 hours I have decided against this resolution. I know that my last few blogs have been about love and how I want it, but I have realized something. The more I pray for love, the more I want love, the more desperate I will become. Desperation is not something that I want to come. I want to date someone because I like them, not because I am desperate.
So, this year, I am saying goodbye to desperation. I am saying hello to patience and living my life in a God pleasing way. Yesterday night, in the midst of playing our games, my brother said "When you are a Christian, you just know." This is something that he now denies, but he said it and it got me thinking. Someday God is going to put an amazing man in my life and I am just going to know. I'll know he is 'the one.'
A few years ago a friend of mine was telling me about how his friend was sure he was going to marry his girlfriend. At this time he was 17 and they had been dating for about a year. They got married today. Which is just so amazing to me. When I think about this, all I can say is "I want that." Just knowing after such little time, at such a young age. I want that feeling of knowing. It is just so amazing to me.
I read a book over the summer about a woman who picked up, moved towns and started to plan her wedding because she said God told her to. I should mention this woman was not engaged. She didn't even have a boyfriend, but God had even given her a date for the wedding. So she planned her wedding. It wasn't until 3 days before her "wedding day" that she realized it wasn't going to happen. On that day she accepted her singleness and entrusted her heart to God...she got engaged 3 days later on what she thought was supposed to be her wedding day.
Now, I'm not saying that I expect to have a vision from God and then get engaged 3 days later. The point I was trying to get at with that story is that if I accept my singleness, perhaps than God will send me someone. Desperation is not the way to get what we want. So, I will accept living my single life. Even if that means I will spend Friday nights at home in my sweat pants or my next New Year's with my brother again. I am okay with that because I love sweat pants and I love my brother.
So, here's to living the single life God has given me at this point in my life. I'll toast to that.
Song of the Moment: Before the Storm by The Jonas Brothers Feat. Miley Cyrus ("They always say a heart is not a home without the one who gets you through the storm.")
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
This was quite the year. Big decisions. New Friends. New School. Bravery. Love. Loss. Growth. It had it's high points and it's low points, but I wouldn't change any part of it. I have grown so much more in this year than in any other year of my life.
The other day I was thinking of resolutions I would make for this new year. One of the ideas I had was to go on a date. In the last 24 hours I have decided against this resolution. I know that my last few blogs have been about love and how I want it, but I have realized something. The more I pray for love, the more I want love, the more desperate I will become. Desperation is not something that I want to come. I want to date someone because I like them, not because I am desperate.
So, this year, I am saying goodbye to desperation. I am saying hello to patience and living my life in a God pleasing way. Yesterday night, in the midst of playing our games, my brother said "When you are a Christian, you just know." This is something that he now denies, but he said it and it got me thinking. Someday God is going to put an amazing man in my life and I am just going to know. I'll know he is 'the one.'
A few years ago a friend of mine was telling me about how his friend was sure he was going to marry his girlfriend. At this time he was 17 and they had been dating for about a year. They got married today. Which is just so amazing to me. When I think about this, all I can say is "I want that." Just knowing after such little time, at such a young age. I want that feeling of knowing. It is just so amazing to me.
I read a book over the summer about a woman who picked up, moved towns and started to plan her wedding because she said God told her to. I should mention this woman was not engaged. She didn't even have a boyfriend, but God had even given her a date for the wedding. So she planned her wedding. It wasn't until 3 days before her "wedding day" that she realized it wasn't going to happen. On that day she accepted her singleness and entrusted her heart to God...she got engaged 3 days later on what she thought was supposed to be her wedding day.
Now, I'm not saying that I expect to have a vision from God and then get engaged 3 days later. The point I was trying to get at with that story is that if I accept my singleness, perhaps than God will send me someone. Desperation is not the way to get what we want. So, I will accept living my single life. Even if that means I will spend Friday nights at home in my sweat pants or my next New Year's with my brother again. I am okay with that because I love sweat pants and I love my brother.
So, here's to living the single life God has given me at this point in my life. I'll toast to that.
Song of the Moment: Before the Storm by The Jonas Brothers Feat. Miley Cyrus ("They always say a heart is not a home without the one who gets you through the storm.")
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
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