July 1, 2008
Do you ever feel like you just can't do anything right? Like no matter what decision you make it'll be the wrong one. There are pros and cons to both sides but you have to decide if the pros will be enough for the cons. Will it be worth it?...How do we know? And once we know, where do we get the courage to go after what we want? Our hopes and our dreams are only an arms length away. But how do we get the courage to reach out and touch it? When are we going to be brave enough to wrap our fingers around it and never let go. I thought I was close, but I wasn't. Someday I'll figure it out. And when I do, I'll hold on tight and never let go.
I wrote that 2 and half years ago in a notebook I kept. I think that was pretty wise for my not even 16 year old self. I have changed a lot since I wrote this, but some things remain the same. I still question the decisions I make. I still wonder if I am brave enough to go after what I really want. I am still trying to figure it out. I still want to find it, whatever it is, hold on tight and never let go.
The 'it' I am referring to is love. How do you know what love is real? And where do you find it in the first place? I am searching for it, praying that God will help me find it (sooner rather than later).
Recently, I have thought of this great love I will never let go of, as my future home. It is my Solla Sollew. I have a picture in my mind of how I think it should be. Everybody else has thrown in their 2 cents on how they think it should be, but I am sure it is going to be a surprise. That seems to be the way God likes to do things in my life. I know that when it happens though, I'll know. And when I know, I will never let go. I will stay in my Solla Sollew forever.
I've had so much trouble finding my way there. When I get close, it disappears. If I can get there I'm going to stay there. If it takes me miles. If it takes me years...Sooner or later I'll find it. Sooner or later I will be home, in Solla Sollew. With you.
Song of the Moment: Sollaw Sollew by the Cast of Seussical the Musical. (I'll be home with you) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0U4MUG-twtU
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Friday, December 31, 2010
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Love
There is one thing that most girls dream about from a very young age: Their wedding day. As you get older and closer to it it becomes so much larger in your brain. You think about it more and more seriously. This all comes from one thing though, falling in love.
1 Corinthians 13 is an amazing chapter. All of it, I love it. But, for me, verses 4 through 7 "hit home" the best with The Message translation.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Those last five lines get to me every time: "Puts up with anythings, trusts God always, looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end."
Recently, I have learned a lot about love. What it takes. That it isn't just sunshine and butterflies. It is hard work. It involves frustration and commitment and sacrifice. It can hurt you and make you feel on top of the world. It makes you weak in the knees and headstrong. It changes your life in a second.
If there is anything I want in life, it is a deep love. First, with God. And second with the man that God places in my life, whenever He places him in my life. I want the deep love you can see in people's eyes after years of marriage. The kind of love where you fall in love deeper and deeper everyday, even after being married for 20, 30, 40 years.
Until this love comes for me, I am perfectly happy where God has placed me. I will remain happily single until God gives me the green light for that boy. Whether he be "the one" or just another life-changing relationship. Until that day comes, I will pray everyday that I don't become a bitter, depressed, lonely woman. Although, He does already know that all I want for Christmas....is you.
Song of the Moment: Love Never Fails by Brandon Heath (This song is beautiful. Just beautiful. I have been listening to it for weeks just waiting for it to spark a blog and hear we are today. You should listen to it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nQy-aP_Koo)
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
1 Corinthians 13 is an amazing chapter. All of it, I love it. But, for me, verses 4 through 7 "hit home" the best with The Message translation.
Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.
Love doesn't strut,
Doesn't have a swelled head,
Doesn't force itself on others,
Isn't always "me first,"
Doesn't fly off the handle,
Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn't revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
Those last five lines get to me every time: "Puts up with anythings, trusts God always, looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end."
Recently, I have learned a lot about love. What it takes. That it isn't just sunshine and butterflies. It is hard work. It involves frustration and commitment and sacrifice. It can hurt you and make you feel on top of the world. It makes you weak in the knees and headstrong. It changes your life in a second.
If there is anything I want in life, it is a deep love. First, with God. And second with the man that God places in my life, whenever He places him in my life. I want the deep love you can see in people's eyes after years of marriage. The kind of love where you fall in love deeper and deeper everyday, even after being married for 20, 30, 40 years.
Until this love comes for me, I am perfectly happy where God has placed me. I will remain happily single until God gives me the green light for that boy. Whether he be "the one" or just another life-changing relationship. Until that day comes, I will pray everyday that I don't become a bitter, depressed, lonely woman. Although, He does already know that all I want for Christmas....is you.
Song of the Moment: Love Never Fails by Brandon Heath (This song is beautiful. Just beautiful. I have been listening to it for weeks just waiting for it to spark a blog and hear we are today. You should listen to it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nQy-aP_Koo)
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
I'll Be Home...Someday
Tonight as I sat in the car on the way home from my little sister's Christmas program, watching the country fly past, Michael Buble's I'll Be Home For Christmas came on the radio. It was beautiful but it got me thinking.
They say that home is where the heart is. And so I sat there, watching the snow covered fields fly by, trying to figure out where home was. And more importantly, where my heart is. And the answer that I came up with is this: I really don't have any idea.
I know that God has his hands wrapped tight around my heart, but I'm just not sure where exactly. I'm still not sure where my life is going. As I prepare for one of the loneliest Christmases I have ever celebrated, I feel as if I am still just wandering trying to find the right direction to head in. I am a nomad wandering from place to place looking for somewhere warm to settle.
Someday, I know I will find the home my heart is looking for. Until then I'll be their only in my dreams and trusting God with everything in me. I know that someday I will be able to sing that song from Madeline "Home is where the heart, if your heart is there, it's home."
Song of the Moment: I'll Be Home For Christmas by Michael Buble (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t_forzHXzE)
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
They say that home is where the heart is. And so I sat there, watching the snow covered fields fly by, trying to figure out where home was. And more importantly, where my heart is. And the answer that I came up with is this: I really don't have any idea.
I know that God has his hands wrapped tight around my heart, but I'm just not sure where exactly. I'm still not sure where my life is going. As I prepare for one of the loneliest Christmases I have ever celebrated, I feel as if I am still just wandering trying to find the right direction to head in. I am a nomad wandering from place to place looking for somewhere warm to settle.
Someday, I know I will find the home my heart is looking for. Until then I'll be their only in my dreams and trusting God with everything in me. I know that someday I will be able to sing that song from Madeline "Home is where the heart, if your heart is there, it's home."
Song of the Moment: I'll Be Home For Christmas by Michael Buble (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8t_forzHXzE)
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
A Moment of Shame
Today was a great day: I finished my last exam, You've Got Mail was on TV when I came home from school, and I ate Kings Buffet for dinner...for Free!! Sounds like a pretty good day right? Well, those parts were, but my hearts still feels heavy. Heavy with sin.
Today as I sat at a table in school I watched something happen that I should not have watched. I wasn't participating, which I thought was good enough, but it wasn't. It was not good enough.
I came to my senses after about 1.5 hours. 1.5 hours too long. Someone else in my class came up to our table saw what was going on and walked away. About 5 minutes after that he came back, looked me in the eye and said "You know better than this. You shouldn't be sitting at this table. You should be running from evil."
It hit me like a freight train. Shame washed over me as I realized what I had been doing. I wasn't participating, but I wasn't saying why. I could have gotten up, made a bit of a scene to show people I thought, no, knew, it was wrong. I could have done something. And yet I did nothing. I did nothing. I just sat their in my shame and in my sin.
I may have come a long way so far in this journey I have been venturing the past 2 years, but I still have a lot farther to go. That is what I realized today. I pray that God will forgive me for what I did this afternoon and that next time, if it ever happens again, that He will give me strength to get up and walk away without caring what the others think. I pray that God would grant me strength in this world full of sin. I pray that next time, I will do more.
Song of the Moment: The Motions by Matthew West
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Today as I sat at a table in school I watched something happen that I should not have watched. I wasn't participating, which I thought was good enough, but it wasn't. It was not good enough.
I came to my senses after about 1.5 hours. 1.5 hours too long. Someone else in my class came up to our table saw what was going on and walked away. About 5 minutes after that he came back, looked me in the eye and said "You know better than this. You shouldn't be sitting at this table. You should be running from evil."
It hit me like a freight train. Shame washed over me as I realized what I had been doing. I wasn't participating, but I wasn't saying why. I could have gotten up, made a bit of a scene to show people I thought, no, knew, it was wrong. I could have done something. And yet I did nothing. I did nothing. I just sat their in my shame and in my sin.
I may have come a long way so far in this journey I have been venturing the past 2 years, but I still have a lot farther to go. That is what I realized today. I pray that God will forgive me for what I did this afternoon and that next time, if it ever happens again, that He will give me strength to get up and walk away without caring what the others think. I pray that God would grant me strength in this world full of sin. I pray that next time, I will do more.
Song of the Moment: The Motions by Matthew West
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
The Final Update
Here we are. What would have been my 3 month update after my world "fell to pieces" as I described it a month ago. I told myself for as long as it hurt I would update on the "anniversary" of my pain. Well, guess what, I don't need to update you. I actually didn't feel anything was necessary after what I wrote on Monday.
Life is back on track. But, then again, maybe it was never off track in the first place. Those 3 months of sorrow and heartbreak brought me so much closer to God. They made me reach out and find a new place for myself. I am so glad that I did.
While my life is hectic and full of long days at the moment, I can't help but smile. I can't help but say I am fantastic. I can't help it. God has been so good to me. Too good to me. And yet here I am happy as a clam. Our God is an awesome God!
Song of the Moment: Our God by Chris Tomlin (LOVE this song)
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Life is back on track. But, then again, maybe it was never off track in the first place. Those 3 months of sorrow and heartbreak brought me so much closer to God. They made me reach out and find a new place for myself. I am so glad that I did.
While my life is hectic and full of long days at the moment, I can't help but smile. I can't help but say I am fantastic. I can't help it. God has been so good to me. Too good to me. And yet here I am happy as a clam. Our God is an awesome God!
Song of the Moment: Our God by Chris Tomlin (LOVE this song)
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Monday, November 29, 2010
Chapter 5: Sunshine
God is good. That is all I have been saying the past 20 hours. God is good. He has answered my prayers. He is so good.
I am feeling really good right now. I have officially ended a chapter in my life. One of the best chapters in the Book of Beth. It had a bit of a tragic ending. The kind that when you read it you get mad at the author because that isn't what you wanted to happen, but then when you keep reading you find out why the author but in the tragedy: because something so much better came out of the tragedy. It was a happy ending all along. You just had to keep reading to find the good in all the bad.
Today I wandered my room, gathering memories and shedding my last tears over my ended chapter. It was the weirdest feeling putting everything in a box in my closet and shutting the door.
Three years ago Sunshine came into my life. It shed it's light on dark places in my life and made them bright. It taught me how to see life in a new way. It helped shed light on the path God wanted me to follow. The Sunshine helped me feel better when my days were dark and stormy and stood beside me on some of the brightest days of my life. This Sunshine changed my life. I will forever be grateful to this Sunshine for sharing it's light with me. Even more so, I will forever me grateful to God who gave me this Sunshine in the first place.
Chapter 5, Sunshine, has ended, but I will remember it forever. This chapter changed my life in such a drastic way. I am a completely different person than I was 3 years ago when the chapter began. I have learned so much. Seen so much. Loved so much.
God is good. Too good. He has given me so many things that I do not deserve. My days have been gray and gloomy the last couple months, but God has come and shed his light on me once again. Light I do not deserve after all the anger and blame I have placed on Him. Now all I can do is thank God for His grace, repent and change the ways I have been living my life in these gray times. God, you are so good to me. Thank you.
For everyone else out there, know that God loves you. Even if it seems like he is nowhere near you, He is. He is walking with you through all of our life's hardships and joys. He won't ever leave your side. So, if you are at one of the places in your own book where you are so mad at what the author wrote you want to chuck it at a wall, don't. Hold onto the book and keep reading to find out what happens. I promise you, if you stand near to Him, good things will come. His plan is much better than ours. Sometimes, we just have to wait and be patient.
If its wrong, God says "no." If the timing is wrong God says "slow". If we are wrong God says, "grow". But if the request is right, the timing is right, and we are right, God says "Go!"
Song(s) of the Moment: There are 2 this time. 1) Never Be The Same by RED 2) I Repent by Jennifer Jade Kerr (only on her Myspace)
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set and example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
I am feeling really good right now. I have officially ended a chapter in my life. One of the best chapters in the Book of Beth. It had a bit of a tragic ending. The kind that when you read it you get mad at the author because that isn't what you wanted to happen, but then when you keep reading you find out why the author but in the tragedy: because something so much better came out of the tragedy. It was a happy ending all along. You just had to keep reading to find the good in all the bad.
Today I wandered my room, gathering memories and shedding my last tears over my ended chapter. It was the weirdest feeling putting everything in a box in my closet and shutting the door.
Three years ago Sunshine came into my life. It shed it's light on dark places in my life and made them bright. It taught me how to see life in a new way. It helped shed light on the path God wanted me to follow. The Sunshine helped me feel better when my days were dark and stormy and stood beside me on some of the brightest days of my life. This Sunshine changed my life. I will forever be grateful to this Sunshine for sharing it's light with me. Even more so, I will forever me grateful to God who gave me this Sunshine in the first place.
Chapter 5, Sunshine, has ended, but I will remember it forever. This chapter changed my life in such a drastic way. I am a completely different person than I was 3 years ago when the chapter began. I have learned so much. Seen so much. Loved so much.
God is good. Too good. He has given me so many things that I do not deserve. My days have been gray and gloomy the last couple months, but God has come and shed his light on me once again. Light I do not deserve after all the anger and blame I have placed on Him. Now all I can do is thank God for His grace, repent and change the ways I have been living my life in these gray times. God, you are so good to me. Thank you.
For everyone else out there, know that God loves you. Even if it seems like he is nowhere near you, He is. He is walking with you through all of our life's hardships and joys. He won't ever leave your side. So, if you are at one of the places in your own book where you are so mad at what the author wrote you want to chuck it at a wall, don't. Hold onto the book and keep reading to find out what happens. I promise you, if you stand near to Him, good things will come. His plan is much better than ours. Sometimes, we just have to wait and be patient.
If its wrong, God says "no." If the timing is wrong God says "slow". If we are wrong God says, "grow". But if the request is right, the timing is right, and we are right, God says "Go!"
Song(s) of the Moment: There are 2 this time. 1) Never Be The Same by RED 2) I Repent by Jennifer Jade Kerr (only on her Myspace)
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set and example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
10 Good Things
A year ago in my Sociology class we were told to make a list of 10 good things about ourselves. I sat in class staring at my page. I didn't write anything down. I just couldn't think of anything good. My self esteem is fine I just didn't want to write anything shallow down like "funny" or "good at math" (even though I'm not). I wanted something with meaning. With Oomph. So, I have been working on it and this is my list:
[Note: Beside each number is a date. This is the date that I added this characteristic to my list. This can give you an idea as to how long it took me to compile my 10 things.]
1. I have a great love for Jesus Christ that gets stronger every day. This is something I have been working on for a long time and am proud to say that I have come this far. And even more proud to say I am going to go a lot farther. (Oct. 3)
2. I know who I am. I know the essence of me. What makes me tick. And, most importantly, I don't care what others think about me. I don't care if you think I dress badly. I don't care if you think I am a "goody goody." I don't care. (Oct. 3)
3. I am trying to better myself. I have been reading the Bible every day for the last 6 months. It feels really good and I have learned a lot. I have also cut some things out of my life. Things that never should have been there in the first place. Bye bye inappropriate movies, TV and music. It wasn't so nice knowing ya. (Oct. 3)
4. I remember all the little seemingly pointless things. The little random stories that everyone else seems to forget. When I am with friends I'll say "Hey do you remember when...." and they won't remember it at all. Now, I promise you that I am not making these stories up. They did happen. Apparently my memory likes to remember things like that. I am okay with this. (Oct. 4)
5. I am an optimist. I see the good in everything. I will admit sometimes it takes me a while but, in the end, I always see the good in something. I know that everything happens for a reason so you just have to be positive. If you are ever looking for the silver lining come ask me, maybe I can help you find it. (Oct. 16)
6. I am not easily stressed out. I don't usually freak out about stuff. If I have a big test or paper, I suck it up and study. I don't pull my hair out and run around the house freaking out. If I am ever stressed that is how you know it's REALLY bad. (Oct. 23)
7. I have a love and a passion for music. I've always got a song going through my head. And, if you play the right one, I will just starting singing along to a song I love even though I don't like singing in front of people. I just can't help myself. I also enjoy playing music. Yay for handbell nerds! (Nov. 5)
8. I know what my strengths and weaknesses are, for the most part. I know that I'm shy and sarcastic and a wimp. While those all may be on the more negative side of my personality, I know about them. It is better to live with my weaknesses and grow than be blind to them. (Nov. 10)
9. I write this blog. Maybe this one seems a bit odd to put in a '10 Good Things About Me' list. But it is something good about me. I know there are nay-sayers out there. I know there are some who don't like or appreciate my blog but know it exists/read it anyways, but I still believe this blog is a good thing. Some people get something from my blog. A sense of belonging. A sense of understanding. A smile. A frown. A lesson. Something they can relate to. Whatever it is people get out of my blog I have heard good things about it, so I will keep writing it until I feel there is no longer a need: for me or for the few readers I have. I don't only write this for me. I write it for you too. (Nov. 15)
10. I stand up for what I believe in. I have strong morals and opinions and I will not hide them. People think I am crazy for some of the things I do and don't do but I will stand up for myself. I will stand up for the things I believe in because they matter. I will stand up for the people I love because they matter. I will not hide myself or shy away because you disagree with what I believe, I will stand up, give you my reasons and stand firm. (Nov. 24)
Wow. I think that's a pretty good list. It took a long time. 52 days to be exact. It was hard, but it feels good. I do suggest that you sit down and do this. No matter where you may be in your life. Maybe it's at a high-point and this seems easy or maybe you're feeling kinda low like I have while writing this. I encourage everyone to dig deep and make a list. While you are making it you may feel kinda down because you can only think of a few things but when you are done you have 10 things to boost your mood everyday. 10 things to remind yourself of when you are feeling belittled. 10 good things that make you feel good.
Song of the Moment: I Am by qSarah.
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
[Note: Beside each number is a date. This is the date that I added this characteristic to my list. This can give you an idea as to how long it took me to compile my 10 things.]
1. I have a great love for Jesus Christ that gets stronger every day. This is something I have been working on for a long time and am proud to say that I have come this far. And even more proud to say I am going to go a lot farther. (Oct. 3)
2. I know who I am. I know the essence of me. What makes me tick. And, most importantly, I don't care what others think about me. I don't care if you think I dress badly. I don't care if you think I am a "goody goody." I don't care. (Oct. 3)
3. I am trying to better myself. I have been reading the Bible every day for the last 6 months. It feels really good and I have learned a lot. I have also cut some things out of my life. Things that never should have been there in the first place. Bye bye inappropriate movies, TV and music. It wasn't so nice knowing ya. (Oct. 3)
4. I remember all the little seemingly pointless things. The little random stories that everyone else seems to forget. When I am with friends I'll say "Hey do you remember when...." and they won't remember it at all. Now, I promise you that I am not making these stories up. They did happen. Apparently my memory likes to remember things like that. I am okay with this. (Oct. 4)
5. I am an optimist. I see the good in everything. I will admit sometimes it takes me a while but, in the end, I always see the good in something. I know that everything happens for a reason so you just have to be positive. If you are ever looking for the silver lining come ask me, maybe I can help you find it. (Oct. 16)
6. I am not easily stressed out. I don't usually freak out about stuff. If I have a big test or paper, I suck it up and study. I don't pull my hair out and run around the house freaking out. If I am ever stressed that is how you know it's REALLY bad. (Oct. 23)
7. I have a love and a passion for music. I've always got a song going through my head. And, if you play the right one, I will just starting singing along to a song I love even though I don't like singing in front of people. I just can't help myself. I also enjoy playing music. Yay for handbell nerds! (Nov. 5)
8. I know what my strengths and weaknesses are, for the most part. I know that I'm shy and sarcastic and a wimp. While those all may be on the more negative side of my personality, I know about them. It is better to live with my weaknesses and grow than be blind to them. (Nov. 10)
9. I write this blog. Maybe this one seems a bit odd to put in a '10 Good Things About Me' list. But it is something good about me. I know there are nay-sayers out there. I know there are some who don't like or appreciate my blog but know it exists/read it anyways, but I still believe this blog is a good thing. Some people get something from my blog. A sense of belonging. A sense of understanding. A smile. A frown. A lesson. Something they can relate to. Whatever it is people get out of my blog I have heard good things about it, so I will keep writing it until I feel there is no longer a need: for me or for the few readers I have. I don't only write this for me. I write it for you too. (Nov. 15)
10. I stand up for what I believe in. I have strong morals and opinions and I will not hide them. People think I am crazy for some of the things I do and don't do but I will stand up for myself. I will stand up for the things I believe in because they matter. I will stand up for the people I love because they matter. I will not hide myself or shy away because you disagree with what I believe, I will stand up, give you my reasons and stand firm. (Nov. 24)
Wow. I think that's a pretty good list. It took a long time. 52 days to be exact. It was hard, but it feels good. I do suggest that you sit down and do this. No matter where you may be in your life. Maybe it's at a high-point and this seems easy or maybe you're feeling kinda low like I have while writing this. I encourage everyone to dig deep and make a list. While you are making it you may feel kinda down because you can only think of a few things but when you are done you have 10 things to boost your mood everyday. 10 things to remind yourself of when you are feeling belittled. 10 good things that make you feel good.
Song of the Moment: I Am by qSarah.
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Used To Be
The following are the lyrics to what the band Lost And Found call their "most controversial song." They actually removed it from the original CD (but don't let that scare you away from the rest of this). I heard them sing it for the first time while I was in Edmonton at the National Youth Gathering, where they were part of the sessions, in the concert they did for about 30 of us. A few months ago I was at a concert of their's and was accused of being controversial for requesting this song. I bought the only CD collection that the song can be found on and as I got them to sign it they said "Now you can listen to it whenever you want." and the in between the lines was "so you never have to request it at a concert again."
Superman was killed in Dallas
There's no love left in the palace
Someone took the Beatle's lead guitar
Have another Chivas Regal
Your twelve years old and sex is legal
Your parents don't know where or who you are
Used to be the hero of the ball game
Took the time to shake the loser's hand
Used to be that failure only meant you didn't try
In a world where people gave a damn
Great big wars in little places
Look at all those frightened faces
But don't come here we just don't got the room
Love thy neighbor's wife and daughter
You cleanse your life with holy water
Hey we don't need to bathe we've got perfume
Used to be a knight in shining armor
Didn't have to own a shiny car
'Coz dignity and courage were the measure of a man
And not the drugs he needs to hide his scars
Can your teacher read
Does your preacher pray
Does your president have soul
Have you heard a real good ethnic joke today
Mama took her speed
And daddy ran away
But you mustn't lose control
You see the kids are wild we just can't tame 'em
Do we have a right to blame 'em
We fed them all our indecision
And raped their minds with television
But what the hell
They're too young to feel pain
But I believe that love will save tomorrow
I believe that truth will make us free
Someone tried to say it and we nailed him to a cross
I guess it's still the way it used to be
I love this song. Next time I am at a Lost And Found concert I am going to request this song again because I think that people should hear it.
Society today sickens me. It really does. People walk around using the F word as if it was the word 'the'. People walk around with body parts hanging out of clothes that should not be hanging out of their clothes. The crap on TV and on the radio shocks me. The things that parents will let their small children hear and watch disturbs me.
The society we live in has gone downhill. Down a steep mountain. I would give anything for a long skirt, some pearls and listening to Little Orphan Annie on the radio. Where did we go wrong over the years? How did we end up hear? How did we go from quiet, simple lives to the chaotic, complex lives people live today. Where did we go wrong and how, if possible, can we change it?
Questions to ponder. Things to think over. Let me ask you, do you want to raise your children in this society? A society that is progressively getting worse? I know I don't.
Song of the Moment: Used To Be by Lost and Found (If you go here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt-lkek-g5k you can watch a not-so-great video of Lost And Found performing this song at a concert. Apparantly Stevie Wonder originally sang this song, but it is no where near as good as Lost And Found's...sorry Stevie. I know you're a legend, but they beat you on this one)
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Superman was killed in Dallas
There's no love left in the palace
Someone took the Beatle's lead guitar
Have another Chivas Regal
Your twelve years old and sex is legal
Your parents don't know where or who you are
Used to be the hero of the ball game
Took the time to shake the loser's hand
Used to be that failure only meant you didn't try
In a world where people gave a damn
Great big wars in little places
Look at all those frightened faces
But don't come here we just don't got the room
Love thy neighbor's wife and daughter
You cleanse your life with holy water
Hey we don't need to bathe we've got perfume
Used to be a knight in shining armor
Didn't have to own a shiny car
'Coz dignity and courage were the measure of a man
And not the drugs he needs to hide his scars
Can your teacher read
Does your preacher pray
Does your president have soul
Have you heard a real good ethnic joke today
Mama took her speed
And daddy ran away
But you mustn't lose control
You see the kids are wild we just can't tame 'em
Do we have a right to blame 'em
We fed them all our indecision
And raped their minds with television
But what the hell
They're too young to feel pain
But I believe that love will save tomorrow
I believe that truth will make us free
Someone tried to say it and we nailed him to a cross
I guess it's still the way it used to be
I love this song. Next time I am at a Lost And Found concert I am going to request this song again because I think that people should hear it.
Society today sickens me. It really does. People walk around using the F word as if it was the word 'the'. People walk around with body parts hanging out of clothes that should not be hanging out of their clothes. The crap on TV and on the radio shocks me. The things that parents will let their small children hear and watch disturbs me.
The society we live in has gone downhill. Down a steep mountain. I would give anything for a long skirt, some pearls and listening to Little Orphan Annie on the radio. Where did we go wrong over the years? How did we end up hear? How did we go from quiet, simple lives to the chaotic, complex lives people live today. Where did we go wrong and how, if possible, can we change it?
Questions to ponder. Things to think over. Let me ask you, do you want to raise your children in this society? A society that is progressively getting worse? I know I don't.
Song of the Moment: Used To Be by Lost and Found (If you go here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xt-lkek-g5k you can watch a not-so-great video of Lost And Found performing this song at a concert. Apparantly Stevie Wonder originally sang this song, but it is no where near as good as Lost And Found's...sorry Stevie. I know you're a legend, but they beat you on this one)
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Monday, November 22, 2010
Ice Cream
Today I sat in Marble slab on an emergency ice cream date with 2 good friends of mine. I spent the whole afternoon being strong and wise because I felt it was necessary in the situation. I thought it was true. But tonight as I sit hear I realize that it wasn't real, it was just a face I put on.
I thought I was strong and wise, but it's not true. It was necessary this afternoon. My friend needed something strong to lean on and I was there. But someone who is strong doesn't break down while listening to Sunshine by Cadence. That song is happy and bouncy, and yet there I was, in major sobs because of one song. And it's not even a sad song it just brought back memories and thoughts that I can't even describe.
This afternoon I said things out loud that I had only ever said in my head up to that point. Saying them out loud made them real. My fears and confusion and lostness came out of my mouth and made it that much more real. Which is good. I've never had that before.
I'm not as strong as I thought I was, but I am working on it. I work on it everyday. I am slowly taking steps forward in that direction. I'm just not there yet.
So, to my friend (if you actually ever read this), just because I say these things doesn't mean I have no wisdom at all. It'll get better. It may take time, but it'll get better. As Dr. Leo Marvin in What About Bob? would suggest: Baby Steps. One tiny step at a time and eventually you'll be there. I want to be there.
And while I still have many things to face and many fears I need to take care of, I know someday I'll get there. Someday I will be wherever God has me in the end. But right now, maybe God wants me right here: lost, confused and leaning on Him more than ever. I don't think I've ever leaned on Him so much. And maybe that's all part of it. Part of the reason it happened. To bring me closer to Him.
Last week I was watching the Duggars and Anna Duggar was saying how we should thank God, not only for the good times in our lives, but for the bad as well. So God, thank You. Thank you for doing this. I am not fully aware of your reasoning behind it all yet, but You let it happen for a reason and I trust You. I trust You with my life and my heart. I know You will keep them safe. Thank You for that.
Song of the Moment: Last Kiss by Taylor Swift
So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are.
I hope the sun shines
and it's a beautiful day
And Something reminds you,
You wish you had stayed.
You can plan for a change in weather and town
but I never planned on you changing your mind.
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
I thought I was strong and wise, but it's not true. It was necessary this afternoon. My friend needed something strong to lean on and I was there. But someone who is strong doesn't break down while listening to Sunshine by Cadence. That song is happy and bouncy, and yet there I was, in major sobs because of one song. And it's not even a sad song it just brought back memories and thoughts that I can't even describe.
This afternoon I said things out loud that I had only ever said in my head up to that point. Saying them out loud made them real. My fears and confusion and lostness came out of my mouth and made it that much more real. Which is good. I've never had that before.
I'm not as strong as I thought I was, but I am working on it. I work on it everyday. I am slowly taking steps forward in that direction. I'm just not there yet.
So, to my friend (if you actually ever read this), just because I say these things doesn't mean I have no wisdom at all. It'll get better. It may take time, but it'll get better. As Dr. Leo Marvin in What About Bob? would suggest: Baby Steps. One tiny step at a time and eventually you'll be there. I want to be there.
And while I still have many things to face and many fears I need to take care of, I know someday I'll get there. Someday I will be wherever God has me in the end. But right now, maybe God wants me right here: lost, confused and leaning on Him more than ever. I don't think I've ever leaned on Him so much. And maybe that's all part of it. Part of the reason it happened. To bring me closer to Him.
Last week I was watching the Duggars and Anna Duggar was saying how we should thank God, not only for the good times in our lives, but for the bad as well. So God, thank You. Thank you for doing this. I am not fully aware of your reasoning behind it all yet, but You let it happen for a reason and I trust You. I trust You with my life and my heart. I know You will keep them safe. Thank You for that.
Song of the Moment: Last Kiss by Taylor Swift
So I'll watch your life in pictures like I used to watch you sleep
And I feel you forget me like I used to feel you breathe
And I keep up with our old friends just to ask them how you are
Hope it's nice where you are.
I hope the sun shines
and it's a beautiful day
And Something reminds you,
You wish you had stayed.
You can plan for a change in weather and town
but I never planned on you changing your mind.
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Sunday, November 21, 2010
What I want is...
Someone to buy me flowers.
Someone who my 'folks' will like.
Someone who will laugh at my jokes even though they aren't funny.
Someone who will sigh and gaze at me.
Someone whose eyes glow like mine.
Someone who collects things as we go along.
Someone who will hold my mittens while I sift through my purse.
Someone I can bake their favourite cookies for.
Someone I can give advice to.
Someone charming.
Someone I can be proud of.
Someone I can kiss in the rain.
Someone who will give me their arm.
Someone whose hands fit mine perfectly.
Someone who would spend the whole night with me doing nothing.
Someone who would watch stars with me.
If I had all this, people would say we're in love. And they'd be right. Is this too much to ask for?
Song of the moment: People Will Say We're in Love from Oklahoma
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Someone who my 'folks' will like.
Someone who will laugh at my jokes even though they aren't funny.
Someone who will sigh and gaze at me.
Someone whose eyes glow like mine.
Someone who collects things as we go along.
Someone who will hold my mittens while I sift through my purse.
Someone I can bake their favourite cookies for.
Someone I can give advice to.
Someone charming.
Someone I can be proud of.
Someone I can kiss in the rain.
Someone who will give me their arm.
Someone whose hands fit mine perfectly.
Someone who would spend the whole night with me doing nothing.
Someone who would watch stars with me.
If I had all this, people would say we're in love. And they'd be right. Is this too much to ask for?
Song of the moment: People Will Say We're in Love from Oklahoma
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Friday, November 19, 2010
Enchanting
This evening I drove past something that I miss dearly in my life. As we quickly passed I strained to look inside the few lit windows into the empty shell of a building. An empty shell full of memories. Full of friendship. Full of lessons. Full of laughter. Full of love.
This place will forever have a place in my heart. This will always be the place where I learned so much about life. The place where I learned so much about love. The place where I learned so much about myself.
Even though it's gone I still feel it changing me. Which maybe sounds crazy, but it does. I can feel it embedded in my heart. It runs through my veins and is always in the back of my mind. I will never forget it. I will never forget what I learned there.
As I sit here almost a year and a half after I watched it all crumble, like so many other things in my life, it still affects me as if it was yesterday. It feels as if it was yesterday that I took my last steps through the halls. It was yesterday that I was sitting in my bed on that awful July day crying and eating Rolos trying to ease the pain. It was yesterday that I took my first steps into a building that would never be home, but only a space filler that had to be used. It was yesterday that I wore a red gown instead of a blue one. It was yesterday that my heart broke. And it is today that I continue to mourn over the loss of a dearly loved part of my life.
Christ Lutheran School changed my life. I know there are people out there who speak down about it and don't believe it was a good school, but it was. It changed my life. And not only my life, but hundreds of lives. And maybe I don't know anybody else's stories but I know it changed their lives. Some people met their future husbands and wives their. Some met their best friend who continues to be to this day. Some people learned a great life lesson. And others felt God walking through those pink hallways with them.
This school still holds a large portion of my heart. A part that I will never throw away. It is a part that I will keep forever and cherish. A part that I will look back upon and share with anyone and everyone.
CLS, it was an enchantment. I will never forget you.
Song of the moment: Enchanted by Taylor Swift
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
This place will forever have a place in my heart. This will always be the place where I learned so much about life. The place where I learned so much about love. The place where I learned so much about myself.
Even though it's gone I still feel it changing me. Which maybe sounds crazy, but it does. I can feel it embedded in my heart. It runs through my veins and is always in the back of my mind. I will never forget it. I will never forget what I learned there.
As I sit here almost a year and a half after I watched it all crumble, like so many other things in my life, it still affects me as if it was yesterday. It feels as if it was yesterday that I took my last steps through the halls. It was yesterday that I was sitting in my bed on that awful July day crying and eating Rolos trying to ease the pain. It was yesterday that I took my first steps into a building that would never be home, but only a space filler that had to be used. It was yesterday that I wore a red gown instead of a blue one. It was yesterday that my heart broke. And it is today that I continue to mourn over the loss of a dearly loved part of my life.
Christ Lutheran School changed my life. I know there are people out there who speak down about it and don't believe it was a good school, but it was. It changed my life. And not only my life, but hundreds of lives. And maybe I don't know anybody else's stories but I know it changed their lives. Some people met their future husbands and wives their. Some met their best friend who continues to be to this day. Some people learned a great life lesson. And others felt God walking through those pink hallways with them.
This school still holds a large portion of my heart. A part that I will never throw away. It is a part that I will keep forever and cherish. A part that I will look back upon and share with anyone and everyone.
CLS, it was an enchantment. I will never forget you.
Song of the moment: Enchanted by Taylor Swift
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Monday, November 15, 2010
Speak Now
Two weeks ago I bought Taylor Swift's newest album Speak Now. I have been listening to it almost nonstop since then. I love it. Most of the songs have gotten to me in some way or another. Some make me feel sad. Some make me feel happy. Some make my head hurt. But they all do something to me.
So, I have decided to save myself about 17 blogs. I have written my tidbits about each song and hope I will be understood. You can make your guesses as to what's about what but I'll never say what's true or not. Some are obvious, some aren't. But this is just as far as I can go right now.
What I would suggest while reading this, if you have the means, is to actually listen to the album as you read it. Youtube the songs. And if you can't do that pull the lyrics up. You may get some pop-ups but if you go to azlyrics.com and pull up the songs at the top you can listen to them. If you don't care very much you won't do any of this and that is just fine. Do as you please. Read as you please.
Mine
I had it. I was so sure it was happening. Except when I braced myself for the goodbye, it actually happened. Now you have to change the 'ares' to 'weres.' Now all I do is pray that someday I can sing this song again.
Sparks Fly
This is my favourite song on the album. It's in my head all the time. Someday.....
"Drop everything now. Meet me in the pouring rain. Kiss me on the sidewalk. Take away the pain cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile."
Back To December
I go back to September all the time. And if it was still September...or even October. I would have taken this from you any day, especially the bridge...but now, I don't know. This song makes my brain hurt and I miss being your friend.
Speak Now
Please, don't force me to do this.
Dear John
I should've known...In the words of Taylor: "Loved you from the very first day"
Mean
"Someday I'll be living in a big ole city and all you're ever going to be is mean." While I would like to live in a small town, you're still only going to be mean. "Nice people" don't do that. They just don't. Get over yourself.
The Story of Us.
It truly is. I had my whole story ready. I was 100% in it to win it but I was abandoned. Now it's a tragedy.
Never Grow Up
Sorry, but I want to.
Enchanted
2nd favourite. I am enchanted. I know very little about you. But all I can do is pray that I can learn more. And while this song hurts my brain a bit, I think it's worth it. But "Please don't be in love with someone else....."
Revenge
This is another song I really don't want to have to sing...but I fear that someday in the near future I will be.
Innocent
"Who you are is not what you did. You're still an innocent." I wish you would realize this without me shoving it down your throat.
Haunted
Welcome to my life for the past 77 days. My frustrations and confusion. Chorus.
Last Kiss
Again, 77 days of this. My life has become the bridge of this song, no matter how hard I try. "I never planned on you changing your mind."
Long Live
I think that if I had graduated from CLS, my grad speech may have gone a bit like this. I wish I had graduated at CLS. It broke my heart having to wear red and black instead of blue and gold. CLS, you will always have a very large piece of my heart reserved just for you.
Ours [Extended Edition]
Maybe you didn't listen to Taylor's advice. I know I did. I wish you had. Maybe things would be different now. But then again, maybe they wouldn't be.
If This Was A Movie [Extended Edition]
I used to pray for this everyday. As if my life depended on it. But lately, I've realized this isn't a movie, it's real life. And for whatever reason this has happened. And I'm still waiting on my toes to figure out whatever God has planned but I have always wanted a movie ending. God, I am ready for my movie ending. Bring it on.
Superman [Extended Edition]
Waiting for my Superman.
Song of the Moment: Last Kiss by Taylor Swift
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity
1 Timothy 4:12
So, I have decided to save myself about 17 blogs. I have written my tidbits about each song and hope I will be understood. You can make your guesses as to what's about what but I'll never say what's true or not. Some are obvious, some aren't. But this is just as far as I can go right now.
What I would suggest while reading this, if you have the means, is to actually listen to the album as you read it. Youtube the songs. And if you can't do that pull the lyrics up. You may get some pop-ups but if you go to azlyrics.com and pull up the songs at the top you can listen to them. If you don't care very much you won't do any of this and that is just fine. Do as you please. Read as you please.
Mine
I had it. I was so sure it was happening. Except when I braced myself for the goodbye, it actually happened. Now you have to change the 'ares' to 'weres.' Now all I do is pray that someday I can sing this song again.
Sparks Fly
This is my favourite song on the album. It's in my head all the time. Someday.....
"Drop everything now. Meet me in the pouring rain. Kiss me on the sidewalk. Take away the pain cause I see sparks fly whenever you smile."
Back To December
I go back to September all the time. And if it was still September...or even October. I would have taken this from you any day, especially the bridge...but now, I don't know. This song makes my brain hurt and I miss being your friend.
Speak Now
Please, don't force me to do this.
Dear John
I should've known...In the words of Taylor: "Loved you from the very first day"
Mean
"Someday I'll be living in a big ole city and all you're ever going to be is mean." While I would like to live in a small town, you're still only going to be mean. "Nice people" don't do that. They just don't. Get over yourself.
The Story of Us.
It truly is. I had my whole story ready. I was 100% in it to win it but I was abandoned. Now it's a tragedy.
Never Grow Up
Sorry, but I want to.
Enchanted
2nd favourite. I am enchanted. I know very little about you. But all I can do is pray that I can learn more. And while this song hurts my brain a bit, I think it's worth it. But "Please don't be in love with someone else....."
Revenge
This is another song I really don't want to have to sing...but I fear that someday in the near future I will be.
Innocent
"Who you are is not what you did. You're still an innocent." I wish you would realize this without me shoving it down your throat.
Haunted
Welcome to my life for the past 77 days. My frustrations and confusion. Chorus.
Last Kiss
Again, 77 days of this. My life has become the bridge of this song, no matter how hard I try. "I never planned on you changing your mind."
Long Live
I think that if I had graduated from CLS, my grad speech may have gone a bit like this. I wish I had graduated at CLS. It broke my heart having to wear red and black instead of blue and gold. CLS, you will always have a very large piece of my heart reserved just for you.
Ours [Extended Edition]
Maybe you didn't listen to Taylor's advice. I know I did. I wish you had. Maybe things would be different now. But then again, maybe they wouldn't be.
If This Was A Movie [Extended Edition]
I used to pray for this everyday. As if my life depended on it. But lately, I've realized this isn't a movie, it's real life. And for whatever reason this has happened. And I'm still waiting on my toes to figure out whatever God has planned but I have always wanted a movie ending. God, I am ready for my movie ending. Bring it on.
Superman [Extended Edition]
Waiting for my Superman.
Song of the Moment: Last Kiss by Taylor Swift
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity
1 Timothy 4:12
Sunday, November 7, 2010
Who Am I?
I am Beth Moffett.
I love Jesus.
I am a big wimp.
I take forever to do my laundry (but am slowly improving).
I am a big procrastinator.
I love to read but have little time for it now-a-days.
I LOVE music.
I listen to music that suits my mood...or I will listen to a song and it will put me in a mood.
I like to sing, but I don't like people to hear.
I love the rain.
I love the colour yellow. It's just so happy.
I want to make a difference in someone's life.
I love post-it notes and always think about buying more...even though I seldom use them to begin with.
I love Christian book stores. If you gave me the money, I could probably spend $1000 in one visit.
I don't watch or read anything that shows people having sex.
I also don't watch or read anything with a lot of swearing (absolutely no f-bombs).
I don't like it when people where leggings as pants.
I am sentimental. I can't throw anything out and I like things just because they remind me of something else.
I LOVE weddings.
I am already planning my wedding...even though I have no man.
I don't know very much about girly things. Makeup, hair styles, etc. I learn it all very slowly as I go along.
I like to sleep.
I like to cuddle.
I like chick flicks.
I do not and probably will never drink.
I love playing handbells.
I play the piano, but don't play very often anymore.
I wish my hair would curl...but it doesn't no matter how hard I try.
I have a weakness for lip balms. I buy them all the time even though i don't really need them.
I love Erynn Mangum books. They are easy reads with cutesy love stories, but I wish my life was like Lauren Halbrooks. :P
I keep all the tips I get at work and refer to them as "My Wedding Dress Fund." (again...still with no man)
I get annoyed when girls will scream and cry over a celebrity they don't even know.
I don't like riding my bike. In fact, I never do.
I love cardigans.
I have a cell phone, but I seldom use it.
I am annoyed when people are endlessly texting someone else on their phone when they are hanging out with you.
I am very good at hiding my emotions.
I love daisies.
I turn little things into big things in my mind (For example, I meet a boy and then in my head we are getting married tomorrow). This really is not a good thing. It sets me up for disappointment.
I hate shopping for bras and bathing suits.
I usually go shopping by myself, but don't worry, I'm not lonely when I do it.
I wish I was better friends with some people I am friends with.
I tell awful punny jokes.
I love people who are witty and quick on their feet with jokes.
I love potatoes.
I like junk food.
I wish I ate healthier.
I relate songs to my life and will listen to them endlessly.
I celebrate Christmas in July.
I tend to get carried away at times.
I love a good debate.
I can be hyper and obnoxious at times.
I want to marry my best friend.
I have a lot of heavy baggage.
I wish that someone could be in love with me despite all my quirks, problems and difficulties.
Song of the Moment: Who I am by Nick Jonas
Don't let any look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity
1 Timothy 4:12
I love Jesus.
I am a big wimp.
I take forever to do my laundry (but am slowly improving).
I am a big procrastinator.
I love to read but have little time for it now-a-days.
I LOVE music.
I listen to music that suits my mood...or I will listen to a song and it will put me in a mood.
I like to sing, but I don't like people to hear.
I love the rain.
I love the colour yellow. It's just so happy.
I want to make a difference in someone's life.
I love post-it notes and always think about buying more...even though I seldom use them to begin with.
I love Christian book stores. If you gave me the money, I could probably spend $1000 in one visit.
I don't watch or read anything that shows people having sex.
I also don't watch or read anything with a lot of swearing (absolutely no f-bombs).
I don't like it when people where leggings as pants.
I am sentimental. I can't throw anything out and I like things just because they remind me of something else.
I LOVE weddings.
I am already planning my wedding...even though I have no man.
I don't know very much about girly things. Makeup, hair styles, etc. I learn it all very slowly as I go along.
I like to sleep.
I like to cuddle.
I like chick flicks.
I do not and probably will never drink.
I love playing handbells.
I play the piano, but don't play very often anymore.
I wish my hair would curl...but it doesn't no matter how hard I try.
I have a weakness for lip balms. I buy them all the time even though i don't really need them.
I love Erynn Mangum books. They are easy reads with cutesy love stories, but I wish my life was like Lauren Halbrooks. :P
I keep all the tips I get at work and refer to them as "My Wedding Dress Fund." (again...still with no man)
I get annoyed when girls will scream and cry over a celebrity they don't even know.
I don't like riding my bike. In fact, I never do.
I love cardigans.
I have a cell phone, but I seldom use it.
I am annoyed when people are endlessly texting someone else on their phone when they are hanging out with you.
I am very good at hiding my emotions.
I love daisies.
I turn little things into big things in my mind (For example, I meet a boy and then in my head we are getting married tomorrow). This really is not a good thing. It sets me up for disappointment.
I hate shopping for bras and bathing suits.
I usually go shopping by myself, but don't worry, I'm not lonely when I do it.
I wish I was better friends with some people I am friends with.
I tell awful punny jokes.
I love people who are witty and quick on their feet with jokes.
I love potatoes.
I like junk food.
I wish I ate healthier.
I relate songs to my life and will listen to them endlessly.
I celebrate Christmas in July.
I tend to get carried away at times.
I love a good debate.
I can be hyper and obnoxious at times.
I want to marry my best friend.
I have a lot of heavy baggage.
I wish that someone could be in love with me despite all my quirks, problems and difficulties.
Song of the Moment: Who I am by Nick Jonas
Don't let any look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity
1 Timothy 4:12
Monday, November 1, 2010
Still Going Nowhere
Here I sit, 2 months after everything I knew fell to pieces. I'm still lost. I feel like if I have moved at all it's about 2 centimetres to the right of my little spot in a dark corner. I'm not even wandering in circles; I'm staring in a dark corner just hoping and praying that someone will come and pull me out of it.
I guess I lied a month ago. All of my blogs since then have been full of my "moments" as I call them. Not one happy one. Well, not really.
Will I ever find my way out of my corner? I can only pray that I do. Will someone help me? I can only pray that someone will. I still have so much to figure out. Where am I going in life? I have no idea.
I don't know how many more nights like these I can handle. They are awful. All I want to do is sleep and yet here I am at 2:18am writing a blog. How does that even make sense?
At least I know I've got one guy on my side: The Guy. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34: 18
I just wish that I could tell. That I could sense the direction He is pushing me in. That I could sense Him with me when I am having moments like these.
Song of the Moment: Breaking At The Cracks by Colbie Callait
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
I guess I lied a month ago. All of my blogs since then have been full of my "moments" as I call them. Not one happy one. Well, not really.
Will I ever find my way out of my corner? I can only pray that I do. Will someone help me? I can only pray that someone will. I still have so much to figure out. Where am I going in life? I have no idea.
I don't know how many more nights like these I can handle. They are awful. All I want to do is sleep and yet here I am at 2:18am writing a blog. How does that even make sense?
At least I know I've got one guy on my side: The Guy. "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Psalm 34: 18
I just wish that I could tell. That I could sense the direction He is pushing me in. That I could sense Him with me when I am having moments like these.
Song of the Moment: Breaking At The Cracks by Colbie Callait
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Wednesday, October 27, 2010
Fearless?
The other day I actually learned something in school. We were discussing what to do with problem behaviours when you are working with a group. One of those behaviours was anger and my teacher pointed out that underneath anger their is always fear.
I've been thinking about that: Under anger their is always fear. Lately I have had some anger, so I wonder, am I actually afraid? Am I using anger to cover up fears I may have in my life? I don't know. So I have decided to made a list:
Things Beth is afraid of:
1. Getting hurt. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am quite a wimp. Usually I am not afraid of whatever I am about to do, I am afraid of getting hurt while doing it.
2. Missing the bus. I always panic about not getting on my bus and then being late for whatever I am going to. If the sign says the bus will come at 12:14 and it's 12:17 I will start to freak out.
3. Ants. *shudder* They are disgusting. They crawl in your food and are just plain ugly. Gah...I hate them.
4. Dogs. I just don't like them. Actually, I really don't like holding or playing with any kind of furry pet-like animal. Someday I would like to have my very own fish though :)
5. Getting lost. I have a terrible sense of direction. And I'm not talking lost in an unknown city. It's even worse than lost in a grocery store. I am afraid of getting lost going to the bathroom or coming back while in a restaurant. It's just awful.
6. Telling people how I feel. This is something I have struggled with for a very long time. If something's wrong, I probably won't tell you and if I do it was definitely a terrifying experience for me. Why? I'm actually not 100% sure.
7. I am afraid I won't find my purpose in life. School is great and I am loving it, but what if it turns out to be wrong? Or what if I have gone into a profession that is completely opposite of whatever it is I am supposed to do?
8. Never getting married. All I've ever wanted is to get married and have my own family, but what happens if I never get it? What if God decides that just isn't right for me? What if I just completely miss my chance? What if all I have been living for in my life crumbles under my feet?
So, do my fears have anything to do with my anger? Yes. What an experiment that was. Fears 7 and 8 have really been getting to me lately. I've been holding in anger I should not be. I know I really shouldn't have fears about anything on that list. I know God will keep me from unnecessary harm. I know that in the end I'll end up wherever He wants me to be but it really gets to me. I am being impatient and silly, I know that. I'm 18, God willing I have a lot of life left to live.
Another fear I have: I am going to go back into that time of hurt, anger and confusion I was in 2 and half years ago. That difficult time in my life lasted about 7 months and it was awful. I don't want to feel like that again. I guess what I should be thinking about is how last time I was extremely happy for almost 2 years after that 7 month down. But honestly, I don't like those statistics. 24 good months after 7 bad ones?
I know I should have no fear. I should set them aside and just trust God in everything He is doing in my life. I should trust Him. I do trust Him. But it seems like I have a lot more trusting to do.
God, I know You will give me everything I need. I now that You have my best interest in mind when You do what You do in my life. I know that if I wait patiently You will give me the answers that I need. I ask that You would give me the gift of patience in this time of struggle. I ask that You would take this anger out of my heart. I ask that You will also remove the fears that are placed beside the anger. I pray that with Your help I can become fearless of everything this world throws at me. Amen.
Song of the Moment: Fearless by Colbie Callait (It's really not the right context as to where I took this blog...but I started with it so I'll finish with it.)
Don't let others look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
I've been thinking about that: Under anger their is always fear. Lately I have had some anger, so I wonder, am I actually afraid? Am I using anger to cover up fears I may have in my life? I don't know. So I have decided to made a list:
Things Beth is afraid of:
1. Getting hurt. Anyone who knows me well, knows that I am quite a wimp. Usually I am not afraid of whatever I am about to do, I am afraid of getting hurt while doing it.
2. Missing the bus. I always panic about not getting on my bus and then being late for whatever I am going to. If the sign says the bus will come at 12:14 and it's 12:17 I will start to freak out.
3. Ants. *shudder* They are disgusting. They crawl in your food and are just plain ugly. Gah...I hate them.
4. Dogs. I just don't like them. Actually, I really don't like holding or playing with any kind of furry pet-like animal. Someday I would like to have my very own fish though :)
5. Getting lost. I have a terrible sense of direction. And I'm not talking lost in an unknown city. It's even worse than lost in a grocery store. I am afraid of getting lost going to the bathroom or coming back while in a restaurant. It's just awful.
6. Telling people how I feel. This is something I have struggled with for a very long time. If something's wrong, I probably won't tell you and if I do it was definitely a terrifying experience for me. Why? I'm actually not 100% sure.
7. I am afraid I won't find my purpose in life. School is great and I am loving it, but what if it turns out to be wrong? Or what if I have gone into a profession that is completely opposite of whatever it is I am supposed to do?
8. Never getting married. All I've ever wanted is to get married and have my own family, but what happens if I never get it? What if God decides that just isn't right for me? What if I just completely miss my chance? What if all I have been living for in my life crumbles under my feet?
So, do my fears have anything to do with my anger? Yes. What an experiment that was. Fears 7 and 8 have really been getting to me lately. I've been holding in anger I should not be. I know I really shouldn't have fears about anything on that list. I know God will keep me from unnecessary harm. I know that in the end I'll end up wherever He wants me to be but it really gets to me. I am being impatient and silly, I know that. I'm 18, God willing I have a lot of life left to live.
Another fear I have: I am going to go back into that time of hurt, anger and confusion I was in 2 and half years ago. That difficult time in my life lasted about 7 months and it was awful. I don't want to feel like that again. I guess what I should be thinking about is how last time I was extremely happy for almost 2 years after that 7 month down. But honestly, I don't like those statistics. 24 good months after 7 bad ones?
I know I should have no fear. I should set them aside and just trust God in everything He is doing in my life. I should trust Him. I do trust Him. But it seems like I have a lot more trusting to do.
God, I know You will give me everything I need. I now that You have my best interest in mind when You do what You do in my life. I know that if I wait patiently You will give me the answers that I need. I ask that You would give me the gift of patience in this time of struggle. I ask that You would take this anger out of my heart. I ask that You will also remove the fears that are placed beside the anger. I pray that with Your help I can become fearless of everything this world throws at me. Amen.
Song of the Moment: Fearless by Colbie Callait (It's really not the right context as to where I took this blog...but I started with it so I'll finish with it.)
Don't let others look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Dear God,
I'm lost. I'm lost and I don't know where to go or what to do. I'd really appreciate some answers. I'd also appreciate some really large road signs marking the directions I am supposed to follow.
Sincerely,
Lost and (wanting to be) found
Song of the moment: There Was No Thief by Relient K...here are the lyrics http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/relientk/therewasnothief.html read 'em and weep. No, seriously, that's what I do.
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Sincerely,
Lost and (wanting to be) found
Song of the moment: There Was No Thief by Relient K...here are the lyrics http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/relientk/therewasnothief.html read 'em and weep. No, seriously, that's what I do.
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Just What I Needed
21 When my heart was grieved
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
and earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73: 21-26
Song of the Moment: It actually isn't a song today. Here is the brilliant Rob Bell. Inspiring. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IinYDR92gBM (thank you for showing me this Danielle).
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
and my spirit embittered,
22 I was senseless and ignorant;
I was a brute beast before you.
23 Yet I am always with you;
you hold me by my right hand.
24 You guide me with your counsel,
and afterward you will take me into glory.
25 Whom have I in heaven but you?
and earth has nothing I desire besides you.
26 My flesh and my heart may fail,
but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
Psalm 73: 21-26
Song of the Moment: It actually isn't a song today. Here is the brilliant Rob Bell. Inspiring. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IinYDR92gBM (thank you for showing me this Danielle).
Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Monday, October 11, 2010
Thankful?
So I sit here on Thanksgiving Monday of 2010 after the hardest thanksgiving I have had in years. After the loneliest thanksgiving in years.
As I stood on the beach on Saturday night after my walk, Sufficient (Jennifer Jade Kerr) playing in my ears, I watched the sky turn dark. I stood there feeling the loneliest I have felt in a very long time. I stood and stared. I couldn't move; I didn't want to. And all I wanted was someone, anyone, to come and put their arm around me and give me a hug. Anyone would have done the trick, even a stranger. That is just how desperately lonely I was.
I walked up the beach and through the roads on the annual thanksgiving walk, surrounded by almost twenty people but still unbelievably lonely. I sat down to a delicious meal yesterday night with about 15 other people but still felt like I was sitting there all alone. This is not to say I wasn't in good company, because I was. My family is great; their was just something missing.
In the past I have had a peace at thanksgiving. I had many things to be thankful for and it would be all I could think about. This year I have a gaping hole of uncertainty. This hole has consumed me for months now. I would love to get rid of it. To fill it. I am just not sure how to do that right now. Well, I think I do, but right now I am not trusting my own instincts: I am trusting God's.
Anyways, that is enough of that. Onto the positive. What am I thankful for this year? It seems like a tricky question right now but I have to answer it in order to give me some pep. So here it goes:
1. I am thankful that school is going well. College seemed like a really scary thing but I am surviving. Actually, not only that, but I thought I would be really stressed and I am not. It takes a lot to get me stressed and I thought college would do it...it hasn't. So I thank God for bringing me to this school. I also thank Him for my easygoing, unstressed nature.
2. I am thankful for the courage God has given me. The courage I have needed to put myself out there and do what I wanted without the fear of what people may think of me. It feels good. :)
3. I am thankful for the friends who have supported me the past few months. Without you I may still be curled up in my bed eating ice cream 24/7.
4. I am thankful for ice cream. It's good stuff.
I can't think of anything else but I think my list will suffice. It is not quite what it was 2 years ago, but right now life is not quite what it was 2 years ago.
Song of the Moment: Need You Know by Lady Antebellum (This song came on the radio yesterday while I was playing cards. It was yet another reminder of the hole that I have.)
Do not let others look down on you because you are young, but set and example for the unbelievers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
As I stood on the beach on Saturday night after my walk, Sufficient (Jennifer Jade Kerr) playing in my ears, I watched the sky turn dark. I stood there feeling the loneliest I have felt in a very long time. I stood and stared. I couldn't move; I didn't want to. And all I wanted was someone, anyone, to come and put their arm around me and give me a hug. Anyone would have done the trick, even a stranger. That is just how desperately lonely I was.
I walked up the beach and through the roads on the annual thanksgiving walk, surrounded by almost twenty people but still unbelievably lonely. I sat down to a delicious meal yesterday night with about 15 other people but still felt like I was sitting there all alone. This is not to say I wasn't in good company, because I was. My family is great; their was just something missing.
In the past I have had a peace at thanksgiving. I had many things to be thankful for and it would be all I could think about. This year I have a gaping hole of uncertainty. This hole has consumed me for months now. I would love to get rid of it. To fill it. I am just not sure how to do that right now. Well, I think I do, but right now I am not trusting my own instincts: I am trusting God's.
Anyways, that is enough of that. Onto the positive. What am I thankful for this year? It seems like a tricky question right now but I have to answer it in order to give me some pep. So here it goes:
1. I am thankful that school is going well. College seemed like a really scary thing but I am surviving. Actually, not only that, but I thought I would be really stressed and I am not. It takes a lot to get me stressed and I thought college would do it...it hasn't. So I thank God for bringing me to this school. I also thank Him for my easygoing, unstressed nature.
2. I am thankful for the courage God has given me. The courage I have needed to put myself out there and do what I wanted without the fear of what people may think of me. It feels good. :)
3. I am thankful for the friends who have supported me the past few months. Without you I may still be curled up in my bed eating ice cream 24/7.
4. I am thankful for ice cream. It's good stuff.
I can't think of anything else but I think my list will suffice. It is not quite what it was 2 years ago, but right now life is not quite what it was 2 years ago.
Song of the Moment: Need You Know by Lady Antebellum (This song came on the radio yesterday while I was playing cards. It was yet another reminder of the hole that I have.)Do not let others look down on you because you are young, but set and example for the unbelievers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Friday, October 1, 2010
New Look, New Me
Lately I have been sad and bummy to an unhealthy extent. Not only have I realized this but my friends have noticed this as well. That is how I know that this is bad: my friends have noticed. Usually I am much better at hiding these things. So, today is the day for change.
First off, in the past my blog has been dark and depressing. Even with what I thought were Happy Yellow titles. Those just were not cutting it. So, what is better then daisies. I love Daisies. "Don't you think they are the friendliest flower?" (You've Got Mail...wonderful movie). Now when you read this you can be uplifted by the happy daisy even if I am in one of my moods.
Speaking of my moods, I plan to have less of them. I am usually the optimist in life. Time to bring out. Let it shine. Like the sun! And the sun is a very happy thing, so that will work.
My brother wrote a blog yesterday (muffinsrsweet.blogspot.com) that got me thinking. He reflected over the past 5 years. What he wanted then and what he has now. 5 years ago he was 18, just like I am now. So, here it is, kind of my mini time capsule of what I want in 5 years:
School: Done at Conestoga. Maybe on to something else, but honestly by the time I am 23 I want to be working and making money to save up for.....
Relationship: The amazing boy/man I am going to marry. (so that money is for the wedding). Ever since grade 7 I have been saying I want to be married by the time I am 23. Yes, I know, you think I am crazy. So did Mrs. Marshall when I told her as my 12 year old self. So do most people. But that is just fine with me. That gives me plenty of time to have babies and then they can have babies and I will be a grandmother and hopefully a great-grandmother!! Oh the dreams I have. Now, let me be clear and say that I will not rush anything. If I am getting married, trust me, I know I should be getting married. If I am 23 and still single I will not run out into the street and marry the first guy I see. Don't worry. I've got it covered.
Job: I want something that has to do with working with youth. In what aspect I am not really sure, but right now that is my dream.
Dream: My dream has always been married with kids, living in a house with a porch and swing in a small town and a red dodge caravan parked in my garage. *sigh* I can't wait.
So hopefully that will be me in 5 years. Another thing to keep in mind, something I have been reminding myself a lot about lately: Not my plan, but God's plan. I think I have a great plan but maybe He doesn't think it's the greatest for me. Only time will tell. Right now, honestly, the best I can do is live a day at a time. Or maybe a week at a time.
But just you keep reminding yourself of that. Not your plan, but God's. Maybe you have the right plan, it's just 15 years to early. In this case: In God's time, not yours. Be patient and He will give you what you need. God may work in mysterious ways, but His way is the best way.
Song of the Moment: My Savior, My God by Jennifer Jade Kerr (Honestly, this woman is amazing. You should listen to her. She is so honest and sings of such truth it is just amazing. I love her. Thank you God for Jennifer Jade Kerr. Seriously.)
Do not let others look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
First off, in the past my blog has been dark and depressing. Even with what I thought were Happy Yellow titles. Those just were not cutting it. So, what is better then daisies. I love Daisies. "Don't you think they are the friendliest flower?" (You've Got Mail...wonderful movie). Now when you read this you can be uplifted by the happy daisy even if I am in one of my moods.
Speaking of my moods, I plan to have less of them. I am usually the optimist in life. Time to bring out. Let it shine. Like the sun! And the sun is a very happy thing, so that will work.
My brother wrote a blog yesterday (muffinsrsweet.blogspot.com) that got me thinking. He reflected over the past 5 years. What he wanted then and what he has now. 5 years ago he was 18, just like I am now. So, here it is, kind of my mini time capsule of what I want in 5 years:
School: Done at Conestoga. Maybe on to something else, but honestly by the time I am 23 I want to be working and making money to save up for.....
Relationship: The amazing boy/man I am going to marry. (so that money is for the wedding). Ever since grade 7 I have been saying I want to be married by the time I am 23. Yes, I know, you think I am crazy. So did Mrs. Marshall when I told her as my 12 year old self. So do most people. But that is just fine with me. That gives me plenty of time to have babies and then they can have babies and I will be a grandmother and hopefully a great-grandmother!! Oh the dreams I have. Now, let me be clear and say that I will not rush anything. If I am getting married, trust me, I know I should be getting married. If I am 23 and still single I will not run out into the street and marry the first guy I see. Don't worry. I've got it covered.
Job: I want something that has to do with working with youth. In what aspect I am not really sure, but right now that is my dream.
Dream: My dream has always been married with kids, living in a house with a porch and swing in a small town and a red dodge caravan parked in my garage. *sigh* I can't wait.
So hopefully that will be me in 5 years. Another thing to keep in mind, something I have been reminding myself a lot about lately: Not my plan, but God's plan. I think I have a great plan but maybe He doesn't think it's the greatest for me. Only time will tell. Right now, honestly, the best I can do is live a day at a time. Or maybe a week at a time.
But just you keep reminding yourself of that. Not your plan, but God's. Maybe you have the right plan, it's just 15 years to early. In this case: In God's time, not yours. Be patient and He will give you what you need. God may work in mysterious ways, but His way is the best way.
Song of the Moment: My Savior, My God by Jennifer Jade Kerr (Honestly, this woman is amazing. You should listen to her. She is so honest and sings of such truth it is just amazing. I love her. Thank you God for Jennifer Jade Kerr. Seriously.)
Do not let others look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Take My World Apart
Today I ask God to take my world apart. I am asking Him to take my world apart and rearrange it the way He wants. Maybe some pieces will stay the same, but maybe some will move. I know what I want for me but I don't know what God wants for me. So, God, it is completely in Your hands. Just show me the way.
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart.
Take it apart God. Take it apart. I trust you. I am Yours. Take me apart.
Song of the moment: Worlds Apart (Live) by Jars of Clay. (those lyrics in the middle is this song by the way. So, thank you Jars of Clay for that)
Do not let others look down on you because you are young bet set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart.
Take it apart God. Take it apart. I trust you. I am Yours. Take me apart.
Song of the moment: Worlds Apart (Live) by Jars of Clay. (those lyrics in the middle is this song by the way. So, thank you Jars of Clay for that)
Do not let others look down on you because you are young bet set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Today I Pray...
That the sun will continue to shine.
That I can speak what's on my mind.
That God will give me the strength that I need.
That absense truly does make the heart grow fonder.
That I will be thankful for what I have.
That I will not want more than God has given me.
That I will follow the path God has given me.
That I will know the difference between what is on my path and what is a distraction beyond it.
That God will give me everything I need.
That God will be enough.
That God will be sufficient.
Song of the moment: Sufficient by Jennifer Jade Kerr. I have been listening to it non-stop for about 3 weeks. It is beautiful and honest.
Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an exampe for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
That I can speak what's on my mind.
That God will give me the strength that I need.
That absense truly does make the heart grow fonder.
That I will be thankful for what I have.
That I will not want more than God has given me.
That I will follow the path God has given me.
That I will know the difference between what is on my path and what is a distraction beyond it.
That God will give me everything I need.
That God will be enough.
That God will be sufficient.
Song of the moment: Sufficient by Jennifer Jade Kerr. I have been listening to it non-stop for about 3 weeks. It is beautiful and honest.
Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an exampe for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
What A Day
Today has been quite the day. And I am only half way through and I can feel myself slowly moving downhill.
I have so much stuff jumping around in my brain. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to do. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I should do something...even though there might not be anything I can do.
The Lord is my strength. I can feel Him. I just don't know where He wants me to go. I don't know what to do right now. I don't know what He wants me to do right now. I need to figure it out.
Jesus loves me. No matter what I have done. No matter what I am doing. He will forgive me. The same goes for you as long as you will let Him. You'll feel a lot better.
You can't change the past. There isn't anything you can do about something that has already happened. However, you can try to do better in the future. You can set your sin aside and look to Him. He'll send you to the right place. So try. Try to do better. Try to be better.
When you're head says "Don't do that." Don't. When it tells you "This is wrong." It probably is. I believe that isn't even you telling yourself: it's Him. The one who knows better than you. The one who makes your life's path. You should follow Him. He will lead you where you need to go.
I promise.
Song of the moment: Everything by Lifehouse
Do not let others look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
I have so much stuff jumping around in my brain. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to do. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I should do something...even though there might not be anything I can do.
The Lord is my strength. I can feel Him. I just don't know where He wants me to go. I don't know what to do right now. I don't know what He wants me to do right now. I need to figure it out.
Jesus loves me. No matter what I have done. No matter what I am doing. He will forgive me. The same goes for you as long as you will let Him. You'll feel a lot better.
You can't change the past. There isn't anything you can do about something that has already happened. However, you can try to do better in the future. You can set your sin aside and look to Him. He'll send you to the right place. So try. Try to do better. Try to be better.
When you're head says "Don't do that." Don't. When it tells you "This is wrong." It probably is. I believe that isn't even you telling yourself: it's Him. The one who knows better than you. The one who makes your life's path. You should follow Him. He will lead you where you need to go.
I promise.
Song of the moment: Everything by Lifehouse
Do not let others look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12
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