New Look, New Me

Lately I have been sad and bummy to an unhealthy extent. Not only have I realized this but my friends have noticed this as well. That is how I know that this is bad: my friends have noticed. Usually I am much better at hiding these things. So, today is the day for change.

First off, in the past my blog has been dark and depressing. Even with what I thought were Happy Yellow titles. Those just were not cutting it. So, what is better then daisies. I love Daisies. "Don't you think they are the friendliest flower?" (You've Got Mail...wonderful movie). Now when you read this you can be uplifted by the happy daisy even if I am in one of my moods.

Speaking of my moods, I plan to have less of them. I am usually the optimist in life. Time to bring out. Let it shine. Like the sun! And the sun is a very happy thing, so that will work.

My brother wrote a blog yesterday (muffinsrsweet.blogspot.com) that got me thinking. He reflected over the past 5 years. What he wanted then and what he has now. 5 years ago he was 18, just like I am now. So, here it is, kind of my mini time capsule of what I want in 5 years:

School: Done at Conestoga. Maybe on to something else, but honestly by the time I am 23 I want to be working and making money to save up for.....
Relationship: The amazing boy/man I am going to marry. (so that money is for the wedding). Ever since grade 7 I have been saying I want to be married by the time I am 23. Yes, I know, you think I am crazy. So did Mrs. Marshall when I told her as my 12 year old self. So do most people. But that is just fine with me. That gives me plenty of time to have babies and then they can have babies and I will be a grandmother and hopefully a great-grandmother!! Oh the dreams I have. Now, let me be clear and say that I will not rush anything. If I am getting married, trust me, I know I should be getting married. If I am 23 and still single I will not run out into the street and marry the first guy I see. Don't worry. I've got it covered.
Job: I want something that has to do with working with youth. In what aspect I am not really sure, but right now that is my dream.
Dream: My dream has always been married with kids, living in a house with a porch and swing in a small town and a red dodge caravan parked in my garage. *sigh* I can't wait.

So hopefully that will be me in 5 years. Another thing to keep in mind, something I have been reminding myself a lot about lately: Not my plan, but God's plan. I think I have a great plan but maybe He doesn't think it's the greatest for me. Only time will tell. Right now, honestly, the best I can do is live a day at a time. Or maybe a week at a time.

But just you keep reminding yourself of that. Not your plan, but God's. Maybe you have the right plan, it's just 15 years to early. In this case: In God's time, not yours. Be patient and He will give you what you need. God may work in mysterious ways, but His way is the best way.

Song of the Moment: My Savior, My God by Jennifer Jade Kerr (Honestly, this woman is amazing. You should listen to her. She is so honest and sings of such truth it is just amazing. I love her. Thank you God for Jennifer Jade Kerr. Seriously.)

Do not let others look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12

Take My World Apart

Today I ask God to take my world apart. I am asking Him to take my world apart and rearrange it the way He wants. Maybe some pieces will stay the same, but maybe some will move. I know what I want for me but I don't know what God wants for me. So, God, it is completely in Your hands. Just show me the way.


I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
and wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
More and more I need you now,
I owe you more each passing hour
the battle between grace and pride
I gave up not so long ago
So steal my heart and take the pain
and wash the feet and cleanse my pride
take the selfish, take the weak,
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
the sin-soaked heart and make it yours
take my world all apart
take it now, take it now
and serve the ones that I despise
speak the words I can't deny
watch the world I used to love
fall to dust and thrown away
I look beyond the empty cross
forgetting what my life has cost
so wipe away the crimson stains
and dull the nails that still remain
so steal my heart and take the pain
take the selfish, take the weak
and all the things I cannot hide
take the beauty, take my tears
take my world apart, take my world apart
I pray, I pray, I pray
take my world apart.

Take it apart God. Take it apart. I trust you. I am Yours. Take me apart.

Song of the moment: Worlds Apart (Live) by Jars of Clay. (those lyrics in the middle is this song by the way. So, thank you Jars of Clay for that)

Do not let others look down on you because you are young bet set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12

Today I Pray...

That the sun will continue to shine.
That I can speak what's on my mind.
That God will give me the strength that I need.
That absense truly does make the heart grow fonder.
That I will be thankful for what I have.
That I will not want more than God has given me.
That I will follow the path God has given me.
That I will know the difference between what is on my path and what is a distraction beyond it.
That God will give me everything I need.
That God will be enough.
That God will be sufficient.

Song of the moment: Sufficient by Jennifer Jade Kerr. I have been listening to it non-stop for about 3 weeks. It is beautiful and honest.

Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young but set an exampe for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12

What A Day

Today has been quite the day. And I am only half way through and I can feel myself slowly moving downhill.

I have so much stuff jumping around in my brain. I don't know what to think. I don't know what to do. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I should do something...even though there might not be anything I can do.

The Lord is my strength. I can feel Him. I just don't know where He wants me to go. I don't know what to do right now. I don't know what He wants me to do right now. I need to figure it out.

Jesus loves me. No matter what I have done. No matter what I am doing. He will forgive me. The same goes for you as long as you will let Him. You'll feel a lot better.

You can't change the past. There isn't anything you can do about something that has already happened. However, you can try to do better in the future. You can set your sin aside and look to Him. He'll send you to the right place. So try. Try to do better. Try to be better.

When you're head says "Don't do that." Don't. When it tells you "This is wrong." It probably is. I believe that isn't even you telling yourself: it's Him. The one who knows better than you. The one who makes your life's path. You should follow Him. He will lead you where you need to go.

I promise.

Song of the moment: Everything by Lifehouse

Do not let others look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12

I'll Be Here

I've always been really bad at staying connected with people. Friends have been constantly leaving my school since grade 3 and we've always said we've stayed friends...but 90% of the time we don't. And even the ones I am still friends with it's nothing like it used to be.

I would say I blame myself. I seldom picked up the phone or sent an e-mail. But neither did they. This is just the way it has always seemed to go with me.

But lately I've been realising how much I miss all my friends. Really old, old, and fairly new. I miss them. It's not the same with out them. My new friends are nice...but they're much different then my old ones. They don't break out into song. Or mock our teachers. Or can have conversations with just facial expressions. I miss having that everday.

But guys. I'm still here. It doesn't matter who you are I'll always be your friend. I'm not one to give up on a person. If it ended badly, I hold no grudges. If anyone else is feeling a little lonely or sentimental, I'll keep you company and reflect on old times with you. I'll be here if no one else will listen. I'll always be sitting right here. No matter who you are.

Song of the moment: If No One Will Listen by Kelly Clarkson

Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12

Place Your Life Before God

So here's what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don't become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You'll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.

I'm speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you. Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it's important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.

In this way we are like the various parts of a human body. Each part gets its meaning from the body as a whole, not the other way around. The body we're talking about is Christ's body of chosen people. Each of us finds our meaning and function as a part of his body. But as a chopped-off finger or cut-off toe we wouldn't amount to much, would we? So since we find ourselves fashioned into all these excellently formed and marvelously functioning parts in Christ's body, let's just go ahead and be what we were made to be, without enviously or pridefully comparing ourselves with each other, or trying to be something we aren't.

If you preach, just preach God's Message, nothing else; if you help, just help, don't take over; if you teach, stick to your teaching; if you give encouraging guidance, be careful that you don't get bossy; if you're put in charge, don't manipulate; if you're called to give aid to people in distress, keep your eyes open and be quick to respond; if you work with the disadvantaged, don't let yourself get irritated with them or depressed by them. Keep a smile on your face.

Love from the center of who you are; don't fake it. Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good. Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.

Don't burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame. Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant. Don't quit in hard times; pray all the harder. Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.

Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath. Laugh with your happy friends when they're happy; share tears when they're down. Get along with each other; don't be stuck-up. Make friends with nobodies; don't be the great somebody.

Don't hit back; discover beauty in everyone. If you've got it in you, get along with everybody. Don't insist on getting even; that's not for you to do. "I'll do the judging," says God. "I'll take care of it."

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Our Scriptures tell us that if you see your enemy hungry, go buy that person lunch, or if he's thirsty, get him a drink. Your generosity will surprise him with goodness. Don't let evil get the best of you; get the best of evil by doing good.

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Romans 12 (The Message)

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Song of the moment: Our God Saves by Paul Baloche

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6b35E8zzASk

The Door

They say that when one door closes another door opens. I seemed to hear that a lot over the past 6 months or so. I didn't believe them. I wanted to...I said I did....but I didn't. That's different now. I believe it now.

Everything happens for a reason. I trust God. He's got a plan for me and I really need to learn just how to trust Him. I'm trying not to forget that.

Don't let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
1 Timothy 4:12

Song of the moment: How You Live (Turn Up The Music) by Point Of Grace
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Q2R0FBZt3U